One of Those Days

So have you ever been wide awake, but just left like doing nothing. I'm pretty much feeling like that today. It's not a matter of being lazy, I just feel as though I don't want to be obligated to doing anything. I just want to do things on my own time, and choose to do the things that I prefer to do.

It's, not a get-back-in-the-bed type of feeling, more like a sit here and do nothing type of feeling. My eyes are heavy, but I'm not tired, I feel full of energy, I just don't want to do anything that I HAVE to do. Can people just not have a day to themselves? And some of you are thinking, it's that what the weekend is for. NO, the weekend tends to be days of catch-up for everything you couldn't finish during the week.

Probably 1 weekend a month, does the average have a chance to just have to themselves and do absolutely nothing. Doesn't that seem a little wrong? What part of the American Dream is that? What about the part of LIFE, or does that mean living, and not necessarily having a "life".

But enough of me rambling, cause I'm starting to not want to do this either (HA-HA). But yea, where's a national "Do Nothing Unless You Want To" Day.

The Days Ahead...

So at work....don't get me wrong...I love my job. Often time I just feel the work presented to me is overly simple. (and it has nothing to do with my degree)

Yes I am a recent college graduate, and I have a fairly good job to have just gotten out of college. Yet I revert to things as this. Writing notes.

I don't want a new job as of yet. I'm content with this one, and with the addition of this new rent, making less than what I make now is below me. Not trying to sound all high and mighty, I just have standards.

So a lot is going on in my life that I am thankful for, but it is far from perfect. There are still things missing, those that have gone away and those I'm awaiting to acquire.

I see the days ahead as being rough times, and it's not the challenges awaiting me that I worry about. It’s the fact of facing them alone that has me anxious.

I'm often tired, even when I sleep for long periods of time. I'm never truly satisfied with what I'm doing...or have done for that matter. I feel empty, yet I know not of what it is I seek or need.

I'm not looking for anything in particular...just fulfillment. The past 4 years of college have been a lot 360 transformation for me. I came in young, fun, long hair, full of nothing. Now the knowledge and experience I have gained has put me beyond where I ever imagined to be...and I often look at things as though I'm beyond that. Not as if I'm conceited, just as though I've come to far to reduce myself to something less than what I am promised in life.

Yet I do not know of what it is I'm promised. I enjoy where I'm at, but I feel there is more...there has to be because as of now I feel that I have so little. Though I'm blessed, my cup overflows, but I still feel hunger.

What am I missing to fulfill the void in my life? What has been "void"?