by: Grant Photography - Evin

Monday, September 15, 2008

When You Let Your Kids Watch BET and MTV...and We Indirectly Promote This

I found this article HERE, read below and click the link to view the video. This will not be my child, and if it is yours, or your's is like this, I am ashamed, and feel sorry for you.

When Parenting Goes Wrong… Kids Freak Fest!
Aug.22, 2008 KDoggOur ChildrenUncategorizedWhat in the World?

My wife and I had just arrived home today from our son’s soccer practice when we heard our neighbor, yell out to her 6yr old son to “get your “A” over here “M_Fer!” We couldn’t believe our ears. Why would she be talking to that child that way?

This isn’t the first time that I heard profanity coming from that home, although they usually wait until 2:30am, when the rest of the neighborhood is asleep, to curse someone out. This probably isn’t the first time that that child has heard those words either. But this is the first time I have ever heard anyone cuss out a 1st-grader. If her son is anything like my 6yr-old, then he just added that phrase to his own vocabulary…although, for him, it was probably already there from a previous cussin’ out.
It is not unusual to see this same 6yr-old with his three or four under-10yr-old siblings out, running the street, past 10:00PM. There is no telling what else he has been exposed to.
Children will hear, see, touch, taste, and say everything that they aren’t supposed to. They will go places they shouldn’t go, and do things they shouldn’t do. In today’s society, where often both parents have to work, families have less time to spend together. My kids get up at 6:30am and I drop them off at school by7:30 am.  After school they go to daycare. I then pick them up at 5:00 pm on my way home from work. My wife gets home 30min later. My children go to bed at 7:30pm.  So while our children were with other influences for approx 9hrs, we usually have only 2hrs to spend together as a family. During that time we have to prepare dinner, help with homework, prepare for tests, go over class work, etc.
Our situation is definitely not unique. Many families have similar schedules. We just have to maximize the small quantity of time we have together by turning it into quality time. Quality is better than quantity. I don’t think the mother of that 6yr-old has a job or is even looking for a one so she definitely has a large quantity of time.
We, as parents, all have to be firmly implanted in our children’s lives. More now than ever before. We have to actively “Teach” our children right from wrong and, here’s the clincher, also “Lead” by example. The “Do as I say, not as I do” ideology does not fly. If we don’t teach our children, someone or something else will.
We have to become our child’s greatest influence. There is no telling what they have been exposed to at school, daycare, or etc. so we have to be vigilant. We need to be their role-models. However, with that comes a huge responsibility. We have to actually be something worth them modeling themselves after. 
We cannot be “best friends” with our children. Best friends do not discipline each other. Best friends are peers…social/emotional equals.  Parents should not consider themselves their child’s equal. The child will reciprocate that idea. Try disciplining them after that!
We also have to help our children develop a conscience that will allow them to remove themselves from the desire to do something they know that they shouldn’t do. I remember a song my mother taught me when I was growing up. It went like this:
Oh, be careful little eyes, what you see.
Oh, be careful little eyes, what you see.
There’s a Father up above, who is looking down below, 
so be careful little eyes, what you see.
Be careful little ears what you hear…
Be careful little mouth what you say…
Be careful little hands, what you touch…
Be careful little feet, where you go…
That song was scary to me when I was growing up. It made me think twice about doing something bad even if I could’ve gotten away with it freely. I could literally envision God standing over me with his arms folded and a look of disapproval on his face.  That song puts some responsibility in the hands of the child.  Our children are smart; they are quick learners. A lot of the time, a child will know that something “IS” wrong even if they do not know “WHY.” They will often know that they shouldn’t…even if you didn’t specifically instruct them not to. The song also helps reinforce the idea that even when Mommy and Daddy aren’t there…the Father is!
 So what happens when the parents aren’t there for their children or teaching them right from wrong? What happens when adults treat children as their peers and allow the kids to act as if they were adults? Well…watch the following video.

We Need To Pray

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