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The past 3 notes, last Wednesday and Friday, and this past Monday, I shared some lyrics from a CD thats been in my car for a while, and I figured I would share some things from it. The CD was "Who Iz Cel-D?' by a friend of mine whom will be known by you as Cel-D. Male or female, you should go here and purchase the CD.
But the reason I wanted to share those lyrics was because a lot times women have a friend or mother, sister, someone they can go to and get relationship advice that they need, and often as men, we don't feel we have that luxury. So this was kinda that "help" many people may need just to let them know that they aren't the only ones going through what they are going through.
Sometimes, we need to stop and reevaluate what is really going on in our lives, and if it's what we want. At our age, or younger, we get into relationships thinking, this is what we want...this is going to be my husband, this going to be my wife, etc. But we never take into consideration that if you've been going through an unhealthy relationship, your marriage will be the same, but now you're essentially stuck. Getting a ring, having a ceremony, etc, isn't going to just make everything better, and doesn't change the people within the relationship. Marriage is not a cure-all. Its still the same garbage relationship, you're just bound by the law (and God), that you've chosen to be with the same person forever, the person you couldn't get along with before. The circumstances in the relationship don't change with marriage, you just now have a ring that says you're stuck fighting and unhappy for the rest of your life, unless you want to spend the time and money into a divorce by the time you are 40. Not worth it. Tired of hearing about people by 50 they have gone through 4 divorces because they married for the wrong reasons, or they weren't happy. Get happy first, then get married. Don't expect marriage to make you happy. Doesn't work that way.
We are young (most of us that read this), be happy NOW. Stop wasting time, trying to work it out. If it's broken, it's broken. Wasting so much time fixing things, when you could be in something that already works.
Men, you're so stuck on getting a piece of booty, that you will sacrifice happiness for an easy nut. You won't let a woman go, because you are too prideful and don't want to see another man treating her better than you could. You think she'll be all alone an helpless without you. NEWS FLASH: she's lived how many years, successfully without needing you, believe that she can continue without you. If she is 30, and she met you at 25, she did good for 25 years, and you made the last 5 worthless (Women get this in your head. stop letting your man think he is all you have and that you can't do anything without him, and you need to stop thinking it youself. I don't know who is dumber, the man that says his woman is nothing without him, or the woman that believes it). Maybe you're afraid she might become promiscuous and now you have the thought that you may have always been dating a whore and you were the only one that didn't know. Or that someone may have better sex with her than you were able to. Maybe you feel she's the best you can do. Could be you just don't want to see her happy. You've messed up so bad that you're afraid she'll spread your name in the dirt (which is a showing of her character). So stuck on her looks that you don't realize the relationship is worthless. Man up, and be a man, handle your business and grow some balls.
Women, you get so emotionally attached, that you are often unable to rationally consider what is really going on around you (cheating, disrespect, abuse, arguing, your lack of confidence, maybe your materialism, high maintenance, you blame your past). And no, it's not always the man's fault that things are wrong in the relationship, maybe you don't have yourself together, but you're too prideful to change it, or too afraid to let him go cause you are so "in love". Get out of love, and get real. You are wasting your time and his. But don't be on some stupid either, like Kanye said..you stuck on some "independent shyt, but would trade it all for a husband and some kids". Get off your high horse, humble yourself. Get your life right (cause no women has ALL their stuff together), or be one of those 45 year old women, never married cause you walking around with a chip on your shoulder, PUSHING AWAY every man that encounters you. Missing out on what a good man could be, cause you walking around with too much pride, and more fears than a hypochondriac. And women stop looking for love. Stop going out trying to find a man. You'll find MANY men, but you'll never find that man that wants you, because that man doesn't want to be with a woman that is on a man-hunt. A GOOD man, wants a respectable woman that takes the time to handle her business, and is worried about her own, rather than scoping out males every time she leaves the house. A good man, will come when you aren't looking, because a good man will see that your priorities are in order, and that is the type of woman he wants to be with.
People use that word "love" as a crutch. As an excuse to keep dealing with mess. Like happiness, anger, or sadness, love is an emotion that doesn't control you, it is controlled by what is happening around you. You can love someone, and not be "in love", you can love a friend, you can love a family member, "love at fight sight"...whatever. Either way it is no excuse for inadequacy or desire to do better.
Do go back to those 3 notes, reread them, man or woman, apply them to your life, and see what it is YOU need to do to better yourself. Stop thinking something is wrong with everyone around you...something is wrong with YOU! Stop blaming everyone else for your insecurities, unhappiness, pain. You are in control of your life, and if you choose a road that allows such turmoil, you will live in that turmoil. Get real, get right, and grow.
God bless you.
*Green
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